Hey There Everyone

I know I’ve been noticeably absent from these parts recently, and I swear there’s a good explanation for that, which I won’t go into, but it’s not the lame cop-out “I have four final papers due within a week of each other,” bullspit…well that’s part of it, but not most of it, since that is the current predicament I find myself in.

However, to make it up to all of you, this afternoon from now (12:30) until about 5 or 6 p.m., I will be LIVE BLOGGING the wonderful slate of afternoon baseball, which includes, game ones of doubleheaders featuring the Yankees and Tigers, Rockies and Phillies, not to mention just afternoon baseball from the Pirates and Reds, Mets and Nationals, Braves and Brewers, White Sox and Twins, Blue Jays and Red Sawx and Marlins and Cubbies.

Keep checking back here to find out if Phil Hughes will continue his awesomeness and my pontification if he does. Hear me berate Collin as the Sawx get pummeled by the Jays, pledge my devotion to Jason Heyward and Rickie Weeks, and relentlessly mock everyone involved in the Mets and Nationals game. Should be a good time, remember to check back here often, because there are no classes and no exams, what better things do you have to do?

Update 1:14 p.m: So the baseball gods were kind enough to have one warmup game start at 12:30, which only has one little fantasy nugget: a reminder that Joey Votto might be the most underrated slugger in the make-believe game. After swatting a 2-run dinger in the first, he’s hitting .314 with 8 homers and 24 RBI on the year. He’s not going to hit 40 HR this year, but no one’s going to complain about a .310 hitter with 30-35 homers and 110-120 RBI who costs $5-10 less than the big boys. Anyone who’s ever owned Votto will attest to what a joy he is to just put in at 1B and never worry, unless he has mono.

Vazquez, not Hughes, is starting in the afternoon game, so the positive pontificating promised will likely turn into obscenity-laced tirades. Sorry in advance. Blame his mysterious inability to pitch to AL hitters.

Last thing, Juan Pierre has already stolen two bases, giving him 17 on the year. Never has a purer one-category contributor existed. I’ll be back with more soon when more happens.

Update 1:37 p.m: I have, for some insane reason, not mentioned Jeff Niemann once in this space before this very moment. That was a mistake. Not only is he dominating all that he’s faced, but he’s doing it on my fantasy

Unheralded Awesomeness

team! His line (through seven starts): 3-0, 2.27 ERA, 1.01 WHIP, 28 Ks. The Ks aren’t dominant per se, but he’s yet to not throw a quality start out there, and he’s had a game with eight punchout, so the potential is there. Pitching behind one of the best lineups in the game will mean plenty of wins, and with ratios like that, I’m so happy he’s mine for one dollar for the next two years.

Also, thanks to Holgash for the comments, and picking Homer Bailey is never, ever a safe bet, even against the Pirates. He’s the kind of pitcher that will literally make you vomit from frustration. Avoid at all costs.

Update 2:09 p.m: I’ve recurring had this thought all year: What the *expletive* is the deal with Drew Stubbs. A somewhat-under-the-radar prospect heading into this year, I targeted him lightly but didn’t wind up with him, and wasn’t too disappointed. He’s gone on to deliver one of the strangest fantasy lines since the season began: .198, 3 dingers, 13 RBI, 20 R, 8 SB. Other than the appallingly terrible batting average, that’s a solid line. Some power, very good speed, and help in the other categories. If he has so much talent, why is he only getting base hits one-fifth of the time?

Well, he’s been extremely unlucky. He has a BABIP of .243, his HR/FB ratio is waaaay down from last year, and he’s walking 10 percent of the time, which is better than last year? If he’s on the wire in your leagues, pick him up, because he’s about to start socking more dingers and that average is going to pick up. Not to a good average, but to an ownable average.

In other news, our hero, Jason Heyward is 0-2 against Yovani Gallardo, so I’m okay. Gallardo’s been a strikeout machine this year, sporting a 10.97 K/9 ratio, and he’s the ace of Teamocil’s non-streamer-wins-and-Ks-leading staff.

Update 2:43 p.m: As if our boy Jason Heyward couldn’t get anymore awesome. After drawing a walk, he stole a base for the second straight day, officially confirming himself as the Messiah.

Also, as if today were some sort of karmic retribution holiday, Homer Bailey is shutting out the Pirates, and they’re leaving him in for the ninth inning. Son of a…mother. The Sawx and Yanks are BOTH losing, satisfying only Rays fans, and dampening the interminable suffering that is the existence of an Orioles fan.

The Mets and Nationals, as promised, are playing a comically horrible game. Fantasy relevant news from that game…uhhhhh….pitchers have driven in four of the six runs, Roger Bernadina hit a homer, and Mike Pelfrey came upon his first five out via the strikeout. He only has one K since then, and has been positively mediocre all day. Just the worst. I mourn for the afternoons of anyone who paid to see that game.

Update 3:43 p.m: I wish I had a stat for the last time both the Yankees and the Red Sox were shut out on the same day. I don’t, but I’m sure it’s either been a while or happened very recently. Or somewhere in the middle. Regardless, not a happy day in either Yankee Universe or Red Sox Nation.

On the other side of the coin, Shaun Marcum was once again dominant. Chances are, he’s unavailable in any of your leagues, I’d just like to shake my fist at the sky since I rostered him at the end of last year on both of my teams on the off-chance I’d keep him. I didn’t. Son of a mother!

In an unfortunate turn of events, very few exciting things have happened thus far in the afternoon games, making

What a lil' cutie

this live blog Much Ado About Diddly Poo (I think that was Shakespeare’s original title of his play, but diddly poo has lost some of its taboo since the 16th century). However, Cubs wunderkind Starlin Castro, who I think is the only player in majors younger than I, is 2-3 so far in his first game as Teamocil’s shortstop. And in case you were wondering, I really don’t care what Collin thinks.

Update 4:38 p.m: Yup, total jinx. I’m a fool to think that Kelly Gregg would come through for both me and his team, instead of just barely for his team like he did. At least the Sawx still lost.

This will be my last blog post because nothing interesting nor fantasy relevant will happen until I’m off work at 6. It’s been fun, thanks for reading, and keep an eye on those youngsters, like Castro, Heyward and, apparently, Roger Bernadina, who just hit his second homer to give the Nats a 6-4 lead in the ninth. Also, happy karmic retribution day.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Holgash on May 12, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    I like the Castro pickup, thought about it myself.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Clay B on May 12, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    I can’t wait to read your commentary on how Phil Hughes’ bench-sitting and warm-up routine contribute to his awesomeness!

    Reply

  3. Posted by Holgash on May 12, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    How bout them Pirates?!?! They make each of the Reds’ pitchers look like Cy Young. I’m slapping myself for not picking Bailey over Pavano today.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Holgash on May 12, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    And look what you did. Now the Red Sox scored a run. I really hope they don’t score 3. C’mon Gregg.

    Reply

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