I love tennis and the U.S. Open, so sue me

Artsy Pic!

I apologize for the slightly awkward headline, but in the event that anyone searches the U.S. Open on Google, and for some reason scrolls to like the fifth page, who knows, we could get some more views out of it. If you’re reading this…GOTCHA BITCH.

Yesterday, Kim Clijsters beat Venus Williams and Vera Zvonareva beat Caroline Wozniacki. This, of course, came after Serena Williams didn’t participate in the tournament due to injury and Ana Ivanovic, Maria Sharapova, Jelena Jankovic and (my personal favorite) Shahar Peer all were eliminated. If you recognized all of those names…congratulations, you probably still know way less about women’s tennis than I do, but more than 98% of Americans.

If you recognize anyone on that list not named Williams or Sharapova, then you are one of the many people who have inadvertently made tennis BY FAR the world’s most popular women’s sport. If you’re a man, it’s probably because of thisthis, or this, and probably this. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, in my professional medical opinion, there is nothing wrong with any of that.

Are upskirts and hotties the only reason that tennis seems to be the only marketable sport for the ladies? I really don’t think so. There are hot women in basketball (see?!), yet the WNBA is laughably irrelevant, no matter what David Stern wants you to believe. It’s more because women’s tennis is still breathtakingly athletic and captivating, if not just as much as the men’s game, then damn close. I mean, people actually watch women’s tennis. On purpose!

However, this just isn’t a post about women’s empowerment, or anything having to do with women (except for the links to the hot ones. It has everything to do with those). Or men, for that matter. Really, it’s just tennis. I love it. It’s fun to watch, it has pretty non-stop action, and we are currently watching not just hall of famers, but a guy who’s probably the best ever, and another one who could pass him before it’s all over.

I was going to actually clarify that last statement with names to match, but I shouldn’t have to, because you all know who I’m talking about. They’re both in the semifinals today, they’re both playing absolutely on top of their game, per usual, and they both play a style of tennis unique to themselves.

Roger Federer (dammit, I named them!) may have the most flawless repertoire of any athlete in any sport. Tiger Woods missed fairways when he was good. Albert Pujols goes on cold streaks, LeBron James quits on his team, Kobe insists on playing a selfish brand of basketball despite being capable of, and knowing how to, playing a team game. Hell, even Michael Jordan was a career 33% three-point shooter. Federer, at 28, still just doesn’t have holes. He can reach all the shots on the court, can rocket up a big serve, can volley with the best of them, and does crazy stuff like this (Twice).

Nadal is to explosiveness what Federer is to precision. From being the most jacked tennis player (I wish there were a word for that like baller. Alas) this side of Gael Monfils, to putting so much topspin on the ball that it’s literally impossible to hit on clay, to being arguably the fastest tennis player on tour, Nadal is every bit as complete a player as Federer, just in a different way. The only thing missing from Nadal’s game is a win in Flushing Meadows.

That is why it’s such a shame that they scheduled the U.S. Open final the same day as the NFL’s opener. If both Nadal and Federer advance, which they should, it could be their most emotionally charged duel since this match, which if you don’t remember of have never seen before…shame on you. So unless you want to watch the Cowboys beat the Redskins mercilessly and Donovan McNabb’s ankle to tear clean off his body (okay, I actually would watch that. Does that make me a bad person?) I highly recommend you tune in tomorrow night. Because tennis is just awesome, and if you watch, you’ll see it like I see it. Trust me.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Logan/Holgash on September 14, 2010 at 11:06 am

    YEAH ETHAN!!!! How bout them Ravens beating the Jets last night! haha. Wow that was a terrible, sloppy game. The Jets are way too predictable on offense and defense.

    Reply

    • Did the Ravens beat the Jets last night? I saw the Jets beat themselves. How is it that a Super Bowl contender faces a team that commits 15 penalties, has only 60 passing yards and wins by only 1, and might have lost if Keller had had some semblance of field recognition. Don’t talk trash until your team actually plays a good game itself. The Ravens would have lost to almost any other team in the L last night

      Reply

  2. Posted by Holgash on September 14, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    Really Ethan?!?! Really?!?! The Ravens turned the ball over 3 times and the Jets got 6 points out of those turnovers. The offense is pathetic, besides a few fluky plays the Ravens shut them down AND BEAT the Jets. Yeah your defense fucked up, but that’s more of Rex Ryan’s dumbass thinking he has 3 Darelle Revis’s. You don’t leave Cromartie or Wilson one-on-one with Housh, Boldin, Mason, or Heap. He did that too much last night. Should the Ravens have scored more? Hell yeah, I wasn’t happy with the way we played but we certainly outplayed and beat the trash-talking POS Jets. We would have lost to any other team? Really? Yeah if we played like that we would have probably lost to the Steelers, the Colts, the Pats, and a few other elite teams, but your defense really saved you guys last night and the Jets have an elite defense, probably top 3 in the NFL. Most other teams, we would have been able to score more points. If they didn’t commit a lot of those penalties, our receivers would have still been making them look foolish with huge receptions, and even if Keller picked up that first down they were still 25-30 yards from field goal range with 40 seconds and no timeouts, no way they score. I never said the Ravens looked great or were a superbowl team or whatever, they came out to your stadium opener and beat you guys, so suck it.

    Reply

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