The Inevitable Furious Jets Post (Warning: Lots of Curses)

I thought it’d be farther along in the year before I went on a profanity-laced (fair warning, parental units/virgin ears) tirade against the Jets failing to live up to their own, and consequently everyone else’s, lofty expectations. I figured I’d be fed up by at least Week 5 until their consistent ineptitude when everyone expects them to succeed really pissed me off enough to launch me into a diatribe chronicling the pain and suffering that being a Jets fan has meant to me, coupled with naughty words.

How I Feel

Fuck that. Last night was just a pathetic display of shitty football, shitty coaching, and shitting the bed. I mean, 14 penalties?! 6 on third down to gift the Ravens a first down and extend their drive. Two fumbles by supposed wunderkind Shonn Greene, and a dropped pass in the flat that was so pathetic, it just reminds me why the winner of the Doak Walker award for best running back in the country could drop to the third round.

I mean, how do you get an NFL contract and never bother to learn how to catch the fucking ball? It’s inexplicable and inexcusable. Then again, it’s not as if Greene was alone in his pitiful play. I feel dirty even mentioning Antonio Cromartie and Kyle Wilson by name. Both wilted under the pressure of having to be the “other guy” with Darelle Revis (who was one of the few Jets without blame last night) and laid giant dino-size eggs filled with my vomit. When they weren’t getting torched by Anquan Boldin and T.J. Houshmandzadeh, they were committing game-changing penalty after game-changing penalty.

Now, it’s not as if all of the penalties were their fault. Many were, but there were a few questionable calls (the defensive holding on Cromartie when the Ravens were inside their own five was both a preposterously late flag and a debatable call) that ALL went the Ravens way, and the call against Braylon Edwards running into the kicker (which led to game’s only touchdown) was just a miss by the ref.

It doesn’t fucking matter. The Jets should have won this game. They were given every chance and gave it away. Dustin Keller running out of bounds a yard short of the first down was fucking retarded. How fucking difficult is it to reach your three-foot-long arm out and get the first down. IT’S FOURTH FUCKING DOWN. YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING CUT FOR THAT.

I shouldn’t even fucking start with “Sanchise,” or “Franchez” or whatever stupid ass nicknames his swarms of vapid sorority girl Matt Leinart wannabe fans call him. Until your own coaches trust you enough to throw a fucking deep post route, you’re not a quality NFL quarterback. Yes, I bought your jersey. No, you shouldn’t feel fucking flattered. It was on sale at Kohl’s two weeks after you were drafted. If I could, I’d trade it for a fucking Braylon Edwards jersey in a blink of an eye.

Braylon…Braylon, Braylon, Braylon. You are my favorite player. You did not display why yesterday. This is why:

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Dave on September 14, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    The biggest thing I never understood all game was why the supposed best corner in the league was covering the 50 year old guy who the ravens had to coax out of retirement a year ago instead of the pro-bowler on the other side of the field

    Reply

  2. Posted by gold on September 14, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    I love ya Ethan, but the Jets did not deserve to win that game by any stretch. The Ravens out gained the Jets nearly 2 to 1 and dominated time of possession. The Jets were only in the game because of Ravens miscues. For every penalty the Jets incurred, the Ravens either committed a terrible turnover or ran backwards on a punt return.

    Reply

    • Oh, I never once said the Jets deserved to win this game. Not by a long stretch. Based on the performance of this game, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say the Jets should have their next win revoked on principle. I wasn’t saying the Ravens didn’t deserve to win, I was just hammering home the point of how bad the Jets were.

      Reply

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