Posts Tagged ‘keepers’

The Loney Bones

If anyone was wondering what “Brando Commando” was referring to in the first ever comment on this site, this is that terrible pun. We have a tradition in our league in naming our teams puns which include the name of someone on our team. My greatest pun ever also happened to come on my best team ever: Hock a Lugo, which won the championship in my first ever auction league, thanks to a ridiculous lineup including Albert Pujols AND Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Cantu and Julio Lugo in career years, not to mention Johan Santana and Mariano Rivera. Pretty much the best team ever.

This year is not that year. Though I have been atop the leaderboard for much of the year, the pun is far inferior, which is a bad omen. I was going to change it, but felt I needed to keep it for at least until I wrote this post. I will let you all know when and how I change it, I assure you.

There are a few extra wrinkles with this team. This is the sixth year of our auction keeper format. We have rules so people can’t keep the same players for $1 every year. If we could, I’d have Grady Sizemore, Cole Hamels and Curtis Granderson, all for a buck. The way we do it, which will be the way we do it in Collin and my league, is a three-year keeper limit. You can keep someone twice, owning them for three seasons. I’ll indicate below whether a player is kept, how many times he’s been kept, or how I got them this year. Here goes:

C – Miguel Olivo – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
1B – Billy Butler – $15
2B – Rickie Weeks – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
3B – Ryan Zimmerman – $10 (Kept once)
SS – Elvis Andrus – $1 (Kept once)
IF – Michael Cuddyer – $3
OF – Matt Holliday – $37
OF – Curtis Granderson – $28
OF – Andre Ethier – $13 (Kept once)
OF – Shane Victorino – $12
Util – Jason Heyward – $8 (My God….he’s everywhere!)
Bench – James Loney – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Asdrubal Cabrera – $7
Bench – Martin Prado – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Chris Young – $1 (Acquired via free agency)

Don't be sad Matt, you're hitting behind Pujols now!

P – Tim Lincecum – $43
P – Tommy Hanson – $1 (Kept once)
P – Matt Garza – $1 (Kept twice)
P – Scott Baker – $1 (Kept twice)
P – Jair Jurrjens – $1 (Kept twice)
P – Phil Hughes – $6
P – Rafael Soriano – $12
P – Brian Wilson – $13
P – Edwin Jackson – $13
P – Randy Wolf – $2
Bench – Kevin Millwood – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
DL – Mike Gonzalez – $11
DL – Chris Young – $1 (Acquired via free agency)

Clearly, this team is built for short-term and long-term success. Rickie Weeks is (knock on wood) finally playing to his potential and I still have him for 1, Andrus is steadily improving, and that outfield looks pretty dominant to me. If the lanky white pitcher Chris Young can come back and pitch well (opponents are hitting only .221 against him in his career), then my team will only get better.

There are some repeats on this team. I have Baker, Hughes, Heyward and Granderson on Teamocil, and I have both Chris Youngs. You know what they say: repetition is the key, repetition is the key, repetition is the key, repetition is the key.



Before Collin and I can verbally brawl on this site, we need some context. Before I show you my baseball team (Teamocil) in our league, I have to give you guys some context. In case you’re wondering the origin of the name, in this league I have vowed to only use names from the show “Arrested Development.” If you’ve never seen the show, I highly recommend watching it. Yes, it’s been cancelled, but that doesn’t mean Hulu can’t help you out with that.

The league is a keeper auction league, which I’ve decided is pretty much the best type of baseball league ever. Football is a different story, but for baseball, nothing matches an auction keeper league. Any one of the other 19 owners in my two leagues can attest to that. For those who don’t have any idea what that is, refer to Collin’s post below. I’ll expand on the keeper issue:

A keeper league means you can keep players from one year to the next, which means young, cheap players are more valuable than Scott Rolen. Wait, bad example. More valuable than Troy Glaus. Wait…dammit. Considering those two guys are two of the least valuable fantasy assets in the world, I’m going to say a young cheap player like Andrew McCutchen (who I own for the large sum of one dollar) is more valuable than Bobby Abreu. Yeah, that works.

Okay, here’s my team, with their monetary value and if they were a keeper next to them:

Catcher – Russell Martin – $6
First Base – Ryan Howard – $48
Second Base – Robinson Cano – $8 (Kept)
Third Base – Pablo Sandoval – $2 (Kept)
Shortstop – Asdrubal Cabrera – $1
Outfield – Curtis Granderson – $30
Outfield – Manny Ramirez – $19
Outfield – Carlos Gonzalez – $1 (Kept)
Outfield – Andrew McCutchen – $1 (Kept)
Utility – Kendry Morales – $1 (Kept)
Bench – Jason Heyward – $2 (Acquired via trade) (That’s right, bitches, he’s mine for three years)
Bench – Everth Cabrera – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Garrett Jones – $1 (Acquired via free agency)

Bow Before Me

Pitcher – Yovani Gallardo – $10 (Kept)
P – Jake Peavy – $19
P – Cole Hamels – $20
P – Jered Weaver – $10
P – A.J. Burnett – $9 (Acquired via trade)
P – Chad Billingsley – $18 (Acquired via trade)
P – Scott Baker – $14
P – Carlos Zambrano – $2
P – Phil Hughes – $2
Bench – Jeff Niemann – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Stephen Strasburg – ………….uhhhhh……..$27…..*slaps forehead*

There you have it. Currently sixth place, but until today, I was in 2nd place. Stupid early season standings fluctuations. I’ve had some pitching struggles that should turn around (Gallardo, Peavy), some that I really hope will turn around but won’t hold my breath for (Zambrano), and an offense that’s slightly overachieving (except Heyward. I would argue he’s underachieving at this point in his career). I traded Jorge Cantu and Joakim Soria for Heyward and Burnett with Alex Bleiweis (Jabula, the co-star of this masterpiece) and Lance Berkman for Chad Billingsley straight up with Ben Holgash (team name Grundle Lice…gross). So that’s how we got here.

I clearly need more pitching, yet also more offense. Not a good problem to have. I’ll remain active on the waiver wire (we’ll see which Cabrera outperforms the other) and jump on Madison Bumgarner when he gets called up. Criticize below.

Marco Scutaro for $15

I have participated in more fantasy drafts than I care to mention.  Last year, I completed my first fantasy auction, and this year my second.  If you have never done an auction before, it will change your life.

In a 10-team league, you are participating in a fantasy draft for about 1/10th of the total time, long enough to make your pick.  Even with the requisite trash talking and saying things like “Wow, this kid really picked Pujols first?  Guess he didn’t hear that Pujols got stranded on an island until August 29th and will only play half the season.”

In an auction, you are always involved.  A person will say a player’s name with an initial bid and any player in the room can bid on that player.  You are involved 100% of the time.

The league that will be most often discussed on this blog is the one Ethan and I are involved in together.  In this league, we did an auction with a fake budget of $260 allowing each team to “keep” 6 players.  Keeping a player means you can take a player from your previous year’s team and keep them at the same value.  So, for example, I bid $5 on Troy Tulowitzki in an unsurprising flash of genius during last year’s auction and get to keep the second best shortstop in baseball at the same price this year.  We play in a standard 5 x 5 Rotisserie league, meaning we get points for a player’s batting average, runs, home runs, RBIs, stolen bases, wins, strikeouts, ERA, WHIP and saves.

Here are some sample values of players taken this year to give you an idea of how our league operates:

Ryan Braun — $53 Providence Grays (Currently 1st place)

This is my team, I will provide an explanation for the name in the future.  Braun was one of the more highly paid for commodities due to his combination of speed, power and average.

Roy Halladay — $44 Team Cy Young (Currently tied for 2nd place)

Team Cy Young enacted the unique strategy of paying for a bunch of starting pitchers (he also has Lincecum, Lester and Garza…scary good), and it has worked for him thus far.  Halladay went for more than any other pitcher in our league.  Team Cy Young has a very weak hitting lineup, however, that will cause him to sink as the season goes on.

Mark Teixeira — $43 Natinals (Currently 9th place)

The top tier of first basemen went fairly high because of the excessive power of each player.

Joe Mauer — $25 YankeeHater (Currently 10th place)

YankeeHater is the defending champ in the league.  I am jealous, so I take great solace in the fact he is currently in last, but this will change as he unfortunately has one of the more stacked teams.  Looking at this price now, I realize I should have bid more for Mauer, but catchers always go low in our leagues because everyone assumes that they’re all similar and all the stats will even out.  Unfortunately, Mauer’s will not and will help YankeeHater move up towards the top of the league as the year progresses.

Joakim Soria — $19 Teamocil (Currently 6th place)

Ethan took one of the more expensive closers in the auction and has since traded him.  For some reason, Ethan thinks it is a good idea to not compete in saves (he has no closers, like none, 0).  It has not worked for him in a league yet, but I’m not complaining.  I will enlighten you in the future as to why this is not intelligent and could cause yet another tragic fall for our persistent hero.

Marco Scutaro — $15 PrnceFieldrUpLstNght (Currently tied for 7th)

The best moments in auctions don’t come when you get a certain player.  They come with memories to be forever remembered.  In last year’s auction, the bidding started on “Kone Figgins.”  Since that moment, there has been no Chone in our fantasy league.  This year, it was a substantial misjudgment instead of a substantial mispronunciation that made our auction.  I’ll set the scene:

The auction was nearing its end and the choice came around to one of our league veterans.  Everyone’s attention was beginning to wane and some beverages may or may not have been working through some of our systems.  Anyways, the room was loud, focus was low and a voice comes out of the corner of the room quiet, but confident, “Marco Scutaro for $15.”

Room goes silent.

Everyone stares at the player for about five seconds trying to confirm they did not imagine the line.  We did not.  Laughter started and Marco Scutaro was taken for $15, well above his value.  He should not have gone for more than $1.  Scutaro is a weak-hitting aging shortstop who has more value in real life than fantasy.  There is no worse feeling in an auction than knowing you have overbid a player and could have paid for something more useful than a shortstop who is easily replaceable.

So let this act as an introduction to a league you will be hearing a lot about in the coming months.

Never bid double digits on a guy who looks like this after lots of at bats.