Posts Tagged ‘Spaceballs’

Josh Beckett is the Bearded Lady. What are you, one of the freaks?

Josh Beckett is fantastic pitcher. Despite my distaste for him for beating the Yankees not once, but twice in the postseason, I can readily acknowledge that he’s a fantastically talented pitcher. Every other year.

You see, since Beckett has arrived in the majors, he’s been downright dominant in years that end in an odd number (such as 2003 and 2007). In fact, every year that ends in an odd number has been an improvement for him over the previous year. It’s a very strange yet proven trend at this point, considering he’s been in the league since his 1.50 ERA debut in 2001.

There are two sides to every Schwartz, and the even years are the down side. Yogurt got the upside.

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see if you know how to...use it

Every even-numbered year of Beckett’s career has been a statistical downgrade over the previous year. Some years this isn’t very dramatic, like from 2003 to 2004, when his ERA jumped from a fantastic 3.04 to a less-great but still good 3.79.

Other years though, he’s more Colonel Sanders than Dark Helmet (yes, I have enough of these stored in my memory to continue all post like this). From 2005 to 2006, his ERA jumped from 3.38 to 5.01, and from 2006 to 2007 it rose from 3.27 to an average 4.03.

Why am I telling you all this? Well this year just so happens to end in an even number, and batters are once again hitting Beckett’s pitches at ludicrous speeds.

We can't stop, we have to slow down first!

After getting blown up for eight runs in three innings by the Blue Jays, Beckett’s ERA sits at a comfy plateau of 7.22 with a deliciously high WHIP of 1.74. In other words, atrocious.

Now, if you’re a proud owner of Beckett you’re probably clamoring in fear and have plans to lock yourself in a limo and eat yourself to death. Well, you should. Although this phenomenon is completely inexplicable and makes no sense, it is very real and pretty unavoidable. As Beckett ages and his skills decline, I can only imagine his odd years will be halfway decent and his even years he’ll have lost the bleeps, the sweeps and the creeps.

There’s not much else you can do but just hold on for dear life, and smoke if you got ’em.