Posts Tagged ‘Teamocil’

Today’s Heroes: 5/30 – Le Blogging

Sundays are free here. I have class from 9-12:15 5 days a week, and have class some days and activities other days in the afternoon until dinner. Then dinner, then either passing out, going out drinking, the latter followed by the former, or staying up late watching TV. Doing these activities leaves me dog-tired, and wanting nothing to do with hopping on the computer and banging out 700 words of fantasy advice when I barely have the time to pay attention (that didn’t stop Teamocil from climbing back into forth place on the heels of The Great Jason Heyward, Carlos Gonzalez and Robbie Cano’s strong weeks). But I’ve done it anyway, for you. Yesterday, I spent literally all day in the mediocre-at-best city of Marseille (go here if you want to hear why), was too tired to go out in France on a Saturday night, so the fact that a wrote a blog post was heroic, at the least.

Today is Sunday, though. Sundays are free. Completely free. I can wake up at 2:15 if I want to (check), I can have breakfast at 2:45 of espresso, a baguette smothered in nutella and apricot confiture (check), then download some hip-hop I had wanted to for two months (check), then listen to it while cranking out a Today’s Heroes (check). So here it is.

  • I don’t know how many people know this, but since 1996, only one team in all of the Major Leagues has a winning record against the Yankees. That team would be (sorry, Collin and *snicker snicker* O’s fans) the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. I hate them. Not enough to refuse owning any of their players (Kendry Morales and Jered Weaver, and I used to have a spot reserved for K-Rod on my teams in the mid-2000’s), but enough to never even secretly root for them against the Yanks. I bench Jered Weaver every time. Yesterday, I was given another very good reason to hate them. After their one non-evil hitter (Kendry), hit a walk-off grand slam, what do they do to thank him? Break his fucking leg, that’s what. And they all joined in to beat the living crap out of him and sideline him for 10-12 weeks. Serious pricks. Now that incredible keeper pick his so much less valuable, and I need offense. Members of the league, I’m listening to offers for a pitcher of mine.

Leg Assassination: The Montage

  • Continuing this morning’s theme of hatred, I hate Carlos Silva. He’s a below-average pitcher throwing up top-50 fantasy numbers for no good reason. After 7 innings and 11 Ks last night, my hatred builds, fueled by the certain knowledge that if I were to pick him up, he would immediately begin to suck on my team, I know it. The eventual regression will not take place on my starting roster, I assure you.
  • Dexter Fowler had a good run. However, if you play in the Rockies outfield, you’re on a preposterously short leash. Why? Because after Carlos Gonzalez and Brad Hawpe, they have 3-4 interchangeable outfielders. Enter Seth Smith, the Rockies’ Flava-Flav-of-the-week, hitting .409 with seven runs, three dingers and six RBI. He hits behind CarGo and ahead of Tulowitzki, Helton, Hawpe, Stewart and Olivo in some order. That’s a pretty sweet place to be, so you should keep an eye on this guy. If he locks that spot up, he’ll be even more valuable than his season total of 8 homers would have you believe (which is already adequately valuable).
  • The time difference pwned me in the Buster Posey sweepstakes me. While everyone was hearing the news of his call-up yesterday morning, I was stuck on some lame train through the historic district of Marseille (not my idea), handcuffed by the idea of time zones. Starting Miguel Olivo in both leagues, Posey would be a perfect addition because I’m not deluding myself that Olivo can continue to be on pace for 30 HR and 15 steals. Yes, those are his 475-AB paces. Obviously I wouldn’t drop Olivo, but Posey, a can’t miss offensive prospect at catcher, would be a very nice backup, keeping for 1 (he was already in the Yahoo! universe and available in both leagues). C’est la vie, as they say over here. Over there, we call it pwned.
  • Former Terrapin Brett Cecil continued his stellar widely-available play? Why widely available? Because the last time he had a stretch like this, everyone picked him up. Then he sucked for a few starts, and everyone dropped him again. Well, I’m not making that mistake again, unless of course I can trade two pitchers for a great power hitter. Then I might make that mistake again. Totally a viable option, guys. Just saying. I need hitting.
  • Is John Axford the Brewers’ new closer? I haven’t been reading the rags, but he has a win and two saves in his last two appearances, so that leads me to believe it is. In that case, there will be a scrum for him in all leagues, since the Brewers are a decent team that would be better if they hadn’t been employing Trevor Hoffman. They have an unbelievable lineup, and at least one pitcher of delivering consistently great performances (Yovani Gallardo). That should be a solid two-three saves a week if he can keep the job.

Thank God I have this blog to express my Morales frustration, since absolutely no one in France cares about baseball, if not, suppressing this rage would be very unhealthy.


Todays Heroes – 5/3

After a whirlwind weekend pandering to the birthday girl…friend and spending too much time stuffing my face full of crab, pizza, waffles/french toast and beer and spirits, I’m back. This week is going to be just as crazy as the last with work, so the posts will be a little more abbreviated, but I will try my damndest to post once a day. On to the bullets:

  • Guys who won’t stop hitting and find themselves nestled on my teams: Robinson Cano, Paul Konerko, Andre Ethier, Jason Heyward (he’s baaaack) and Carlos Gonzalez. All of these guys have been just insane, the first three especially. Konerko, as Collin so delightfully explained, is experiencing a rennaissance, and is leading the majors in homers after hitting four in his last four games. He has 12, and the second-place guys (two of whom are Cano and Ethier, joined by Mark Reynolds and Kelly Johnson) all have nine. Cano leads the majors with a .387 average, Ethier leads the NL in batting average, homers and RBI, on pace for the first NL Triple Crown since Joe “Ducky” Medwick in 1936. No, I didn’t have to even look that up, it’s memorized. I’m scared for myself too.

What does this mean for my teams? Nothing of course. Both of them are middle-of-the-pack right now, thanks too average starts by their eventual offensive leaders (Matt Holliday and Ryan Howard) and inconsistent pitching (damn you, Scott Baker!). After an atrocious 1-20 stretch, Heyward has adjusted and homered in three straight games, then drove in another three runs to bring his numbers back to All-Star levels. Drooool.

  • Not to say¬†I told you so, but I told you so.
  • David Freese demands your attention. Second only to Ethier in the NL in batting average, the Cardinals’s third baseman was a titan with the stick last week, socking three dingers and driving in 11, batting .500. Hitting behind Albert Pujols, Matt Holliday and the white Jason Heyward makes pitchers so exhausted that they’re probably just throwing junk to Freese. However, those guys will be there all year, so he’ll keep seeing the junk. If you’re thin at third, you have to pick him up. He’s got that starting job all to himself, he’s in that lineup, and he’s hitting, yet mind-bogglingly owned in only 18 percent of Yahoo! leagues. I would pick him up, but having Kung Fu Panda and Ryan Zimmerman with no room on my bench prevents me. You lucky schmucks.

    He's enjoying the ride. You won't

  • It’s that time of year again when you contemplate picking up Scott Hairston. It’s okay, it’s totally natural. He’s got this annoying tendency to pwn bitches¬†for a week or two, then suck for months, then great again. Don’t do it. There are better options out there, especially at outfield, and especially not on the Friars.
  • Streamer options for tomorrow, quick version: Wade LeBlanc, though he’s already a member of Teamocil, pitching in Petco. I don’t care if he’s facing the Rockies, he’s a Padre, his ERA’s 0.52, he should be on your team if you’re streaming and not Jabula. The D-Train may finally be leaving the station, though Minnesota’s a dangerous club at home. Other random dudes who might give you quality innings: Ian Kennedy, Luke Hochevar and Scott Feldman.

That’s all for today. Hope you kids enjoy the beautiful weather. Oh, wait, it’s thunderstorming and I have to work on a golf cart all afternoon? Wha…wha…why squirrel hate me?


Today’s Heroes: 4/25 – Dancing Polar Bears

Good morning all you Winchestertonfieldvillians! I’ve woken up at 10:30 or later each of the past two days and therefore feel amazing. I hope you all heeded my advice and caught some basketball yesterday, ’cause there was some good stuff (notably the Thunder defecating on the Lakers). We apologize for the decline in posts the past two days. It’s a lot harder to do this stuff on the weekend when there’s sleep to be had, sports to be watched, and work to not do. I can officially promise you two or more posts from me today (probably just two though, let’s not get crazy). Keep the hits coming! Bullet time.

  • I need to address this whole Barry Zito thing. He tore apart the Cardinals lineup (even Pujols and Holliday) yesterday to the tune of 8 innings, 10 strikeouts and six hits/walks. No runs. No words (except that he’s only owned in 62 percent of Yahoo! leagues, and that number should be far higher. Pick him up if he’s somehow still available, he’s been doing stuff like this all year).
  • As promised, dancing polar bears!

    I told you!

  • Another depressing day in my teams’ history. The Loney Bones lost four points, Teamocil lost three. I would say I give up, but that’s just crazytalk. I just won’t talk about them until they turn the ship around even a little.
  • What to do with Will Venable. He’s generating some pretty awesome numbers – four homers, four steals, 13 runs, 11 RBI – but still isn’t assured of regular playing time. Why he isn’t I have no idea, but that’s why he’s not currently on any of my teams. If you can stomach the roller-coaster ride of a platoon player, or feel like waiting it out until Bud Black decides that the Princeton product deserves an everyday gig, go pick him up, he’s still only 10 percent-owned, with those numbers.
  • Ty Wigginton demands your attention. The newly-minted Teamocil employee (and now-and-forever Clay Bellinger) is now hitting .333 with six dinger and 12 RBI. He’s gettin’ up there in years for someone named Ty without the last name Cobb (he’s 32), but the power is and has always been there, he’s eligible at three positions, including 2B, and the Orioles need his bat in their lineup. Ride his bat until he starts hitting .230 again.
  • Streamables: Carlos Silva attempts to continue his wholly unsustainable run of dominance against the Nats, but what do you care how sustainable it is, you’re streaming! He’s still only 21 percent owned, so grab him if you can. Dana Eveland and David Huff are pretty much the same person – low ERA and WHIP so far, next to no Ks, and widely available because one of those will last (hint: it’s the bad one). However, Eveland’s facing the (I love saying this) struggling Red Sox offense, and Huff has already pitched well against the Tigers, Twins and Rangers, so him against the Angels doesn’t scare me that much.

That’s all I got for you cool cats. Enjoy Sunday baseball. I’ll be back later to post in between my insane amount of work (seriously, for like every class I got stuff).

Zambrano Moves to Bullpen

UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH. In case you guys don’t know who Ed Price is, he’s a national baseball writer for Fanhouse and might break more stories like this than anyone else. Just incredibly depressing, as I just posted about Zambrano’s strong start last night.

Not sure what to do about this. I don’t have any closers, so the chance that he usurps Carlos Marmol and steals saves doesn’t really affect me other than my enhanced ability to trade him. However, never underestimate the value of a consistently dominant middle reliever. Balancing out one’s ERA and WHIP while getting some K’s is always nice to have. Not as valuable as a good SP, but considering that there aren’t many of those out there on free agency at the moment, I’m going to hold on to him for the time being.

I promise a longer and more informative post coming later this evening. Just too angry right now to muster some bullets.

Jason Heyward Continues to Rule the World and Other Thoughts

In case you haven’t read it enough, Jason Heyward has pretty much been deified on this site. More evidence continues to surface to corroborate my (and all of Atlanta’s) argument, as he hit a home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth to tie the Phillies, and the Braves would go on to win in extra innings, courtesy of a Nate McLouth walk-off job. Heyward now has four homers, and is tied for fourth in the majors in RBI with 16. He hits sixth in the Braves lineup still, inexplicably behind the useless Troy Glaus, who is hitting .200 with only 2 HR and 8 RBI. Move him up, Cox!

While The Say Hey Baby is trying his balls off to captain my teams onto the leaderboard, they continue to slip. The Loney Bones and Teamocil both lost points yesterday, falling to third and sixth respectively. My offenses, save for Heyward, have completely sputtered. It’s okay, the Hero’s Journey is never easy, but I shall prevail in the end.

Other thoughts on last night’s action:

  • Darnell McDonald single-handedly saved the Red Sox from themselves last night, hitting a game-tying two-run homer in the eighth and a walk-off single in the ninth. How ironic that a black player rescued the most racist organization in sports…hmm, maybe there is something to this whole integration dealy. For the record, Willie Harris yesterday said he had heard that Boston is a racist city, but said he didn’t experience it while he was there for a few months in 2006. However, since then, I can count the African American that have played for the Sox on one hand – Mike Cameron, Bill Hall, Joey Gathright, Coco Crisp and Royce Clayton. Other than Crisp, none of them played in 100 games, and Crisp was run out of town as soon as Jacoby Ellsbury came along (admittedly, that had more to do with talent than race). That number still strikes me as abysmally low. Just a gripe.
  • Matt Kemp is tied for the lead in the NL in homers and in the whole damn league in RBI. Remember just two years ago when he was struggling to get playing time because Joe Torre was set on playing Juan Pierre? The guy’s ridiculous, and by next March could be in the discussion for the number one overall pick. He’s also stolen two bases so far. I don’t want to get into what numbers he’s on pace for, but the numbers he’s likely to reach this year could be something like .310, 35 HR, 110 RBI, 100 R and 25 SB. In other words, just redonkalous numbers. Just redonkalous…
  • Jabula, who I’ve repeatedly trashed for his dealings with The Villain, overtook the lead from said Villain last night, and is free to bite his thumb at me. Kudos on streaming effectively thus far, but somehow I doubt when all is said and done Nelson Cruz will be leading the majors in HR and Jorge Cantu will do the same in RBI, both of whom are doing just that for his team. Enjoy it while it lasts, and I’ll at least take solace in the fact that no true Yankee fan owns Kevin Youkilis.
  • Carlos Zambrano of Teamocil made the Mets look foolish yesterday, allowing only a two-run triple to Jose Reyes in six innings, striking out nine. While his ERA and WHIP are, how you say, ATROCIOUS, he does have 26 strikeouts in 19.1 innings, which is phenomenal. The 7.45 ERA and 1.86 WHIP aren’t worth it at all, but if he can string together a couple of fine starts like last night’s, he’ll be fine. Remember, he’s never had a year in which his ERA has been above 3.95, so he’s got that going for him. Among his foolish-looking victims was Mets call-up Ike Davis, who’s had a history of strikeout issues in the minors, as detailed here. Acquire at your own risk.
  • Finally, Jeff Mathis went to the DL with a broken wrist, paving the way for HR-exclusive Mike Napoli, who was a Loney Bone, and made his triumphant return about 5 minutes ago. I say HR-exclusive because all he does is hit home runs. He has a career pace of one home run every 16.8 at-bats, which is about a half-AB less than Hank Aaron. So yeah, he’s pretty good at socking some dingers. If you have a need for home runs and don’t own Victor Martinez, Joe Mauer or Brian McCann, I would recommend picking him up.

Please comment below guys, we need ego-strokes.


Before Collin and I can verbally brawl on this site, we need some context. Before I show you my baseball team (Teamocil) in our league, I have to give you guys some context. In case you’re wondering the origin of the name, in this league I have vowed to only use names from the show “Arrested Development.” If you’ve never seen the show, I highly recommend watching it. Yes, it’s been cancelled, but that doesn’t mean Hulu can’t help you out with that.

The league is a keeper auction league, which I’ve decided is pretty much the best type of baseball league ever. Football is a different story, but for baseball, nothing matches an auction keeper league. Any one of the other 19 owners in my two leagues can attest to that. For those who don’t have any idea what that is, refer to Collin’s post below. I’ll expand on the keeper issue:

A keeper league means you can keep players from one year to the next, which means young, cheap players are more valuable than Scott Rolen. Wait, bad example. More valuable than Troy Glaus. Wait…dammit. Considering those two guys are two of the least valuable fantasy assets in the world, I’m going to say a young cheap player like Andrew McCutchen (who I own for the large sum of one dollar) is more valuable than Bobby Abreu. Yeah, that works.

Okay, here’s my team, with their monetary value and if they were a keeper next to them:

Catcher – Russell Martin – $6
First Base – Ryan Howard – $48
Second Base – Robinson Cano – $8 (Kept)
Third Base – Pablo Sandoval – $2 (Kept)
Shortstop – Asdrubal Cabrera – $1
Outfield – Curtis Granderson – $30
Outfield – Manny Ramirez – $19
Outfield – Carlos Gonzalez – $1 (Kept)
Outfield – Andrew McCutchen – $1 (Kept)
Utility – Kendry Morales – $1 (Kept)
Bench – Jason Heyward – $2 (Acquired via trade) (That’s right, bitches, he’s mine for three years)
Bench – Everth Cabrera – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Garrett Jones – $1 (Acquired via free agency)

Bow Before Me

Pitcher – Yovani Gallardo – $10 (Kept)
P – Jake Peavy – $19
P – Cole Hamels – $20
P – Jered Weaver – $10
P – A.J. Burnett – $9 (Acquired via trade)
P – Chad Billingsley – $18 (Acquired via trade)
P – Scott Baker – $14
P – Carlos Zambrano – $2
P – Phil Hughes – $2
Bench – Jeff Niemann – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Stephen Strasburg – ………….uhhhhh……..$27…..*slaps forehead*

There you have it. Currently sixth place, but until today, I was in 2nd place. Stupid early season standings fluctuations. I’ve had some pitching struggles that should turn around (Gallardo, Peavy), some that I really hope will turn around but won’t hold my breath for (Zambrano), and an offense that’s slightly overachieving (except Heyward. I would argue he’s underachieving at this point in his career). I traded Jorge Cantu and Joakim Soria for Heyward and Burnett with Alex Bleiweis (Jabula, the co-star of this masterpiece) and Lance Berkman for Chad Billingsley straight up with Ben Holgash (team name Grundle Lice…gross). So that’s how we got here.

I clearly need more pitching, yet also more offense. Not a good problem to have. I’ll remain active on the waiver wire (we’ll see which Cabrera outperforms the other) and jump on Madison Bumgarner when he gets called up. Criticize below.