Posts Tagged ‘The Loney Bones’

Today’s Heroes: 4/25 – Dancing Polar Bears

Good morning all you Winchestertonfieldvillians! I’ve woken up at 10:30 or later each of the past two days and therefore feel amazing. I hope you all heeded my advice and caught some basketball yesterday, ’cause there was some good stuff (notably the Thunder defecating on the Lakers). We apologize for the decline in posts the past two days. It’s a lot harder to do this stuff on the weekend when there’s sleep to be had, sports to be watched, and work to not do. I can officially promise you two or more posts from me today (probably just two though, let’s not get crazy). Keep the hits coming! Bullet time.

  • I need to address this whole Barry Zito thing. He tore apart the Cardinals lineup (even Pujols and Holliday) yesterday to the tune of 8 innings, 10 strikeouts and six hits/walks. No runs. No words (except that he’s only owned in 62 percent of Yahoo! leagues, and that number should be far higher. Pick him up if he’s somehow still available, he’s been doing stuff like this all year).
  • As promised, dancing polar bears!

    I told you!

  • Another depressing day in my teams’ history. The Loney Bones lost four points, Teamocil lost three. I would say I give up, but that’s just crazytalk. I just won’t talk about them until they turn the ship around even a little.
  • What to do with Will Venable. He’s generating some pretty awesome numbers – four homers, four steals, 13 runs, 11 RBI – but still isn’t assured of regular playing time. Why he isn’t I have no idea, but that’s why he’s not currently on any of my teams. If you can stomach the roller-coaster ride of a platoon player, or feel like waiting it out until Bud Black decides that the Princeton product deserves an everyday gig, go pick him up, he’s still only 10 percent-owned, with those numbers.
  • Ty Wigginton demands your attention. The newly-minted Teamocil employee (and now-and-forever Clay Bellinger) is now hitting .333 with six dinger and 12 RBI. He’s gettin’ up there in years for someone named Ty without the last name Cobb (he’s 32), but the power is and has always been there, he’s eligible at three positions, including 2B, and the Orioles need his bat in their lineup. Ride his bat until he starts hitting .230 again.
  • Streamables: Carlos Silva attempts to continue his wholly unsustainable run of dominance against the Nats, but what do you care how sustainable it is, you’re streaming! He’s still only 21 percent owned, so grab him if you can. Dana Eveland and David Huff are pretty much the same person – low ERA and WHIP so far, next to no Ks, and widely available because one of those will last (hint: it’s the bad one). However, Eveland’s facing the (I love saying this) struggling Red Sox offense, and Huff has already pitched well against the Tigers, Twins and Rangers, so him against the Angels doesn’t scare me that much.

That’s all I got for you cool cats. Enjoy Sunday baseball. I’ll be back later to post in between my insane amount of work (seriously, for like every class I got stuff).


Jason Heyward Continues to Rule the World and Other Thoughts

In case you haven’t read it enough, Jason Heyward has pretty much been deified on this site. More evidence continues to surface to corroborate my (and all of Atlanta’s) argument, as he hit a home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth to tie the Phillies, and the Braves would go on to win in extra innings, courtesy of a Nate McLouth walk-off job. Heyward now has four homers, and is tied for fourth in the majors in RBI with 16. He hits sixth in the Braves lineup still, inexplicably behind the useless Troy Glaus, who is hitting .200 with only 2 HR and 8 RBI. Move him up, Cox!

While The Say Hey Baby is trying his balls off to captain my teams onto the leaderboard, they continue to slip. The Loney Bones and Teamocil both lost points yesterday, falling to third and sixth respectively. My offenses, save for Heyward, have completely sputtered. It’s okay, the Hero’s Journey is never easy, but I shall prevail in the end.

Other thoughts on last night’s action:

  • Darnell McDonald single-handedly saved the Red Sox from themselves last night, hitting a game-tying two-run homer in the eighth and a walk-off single in the ninth. How ironic that a black player rescued the most racist organization in sports…hmm, maybe there is something to this whole integration dealy. For the record, Willie Harris yesterday said he had heard that Boston is a racist city, but said he didn’t experience it while he was there for a few months in 2006. However, since then, I can count the African American that have played for the Sox on one hand – Mike Cameron, Bill Hall, Joey Gathright, Coco Crisp and Royce Clayton. Other than Crisp, none of them played in 100 games, and Crisp was run out of town as soon as Jacoby Ellsbury came along (admittedly, that had more to do with talent than race). That number still strikes me as abysmally low. Just a gripe.
  • Matt Kemp is tied for the lead in the NL in homers and in the whole damn league in RBI. Remember just two years ago when he was struggling to get playing time because Joe Torre was set on playing Juan Pierre? The guy’s ridiculous, and by next March could be in the discussion for the number one overall pick. He’s also stolen two bases so far. I don’t want to get into what numbers he’s on pace for, but the numbers he’s likely to reach this year could be something like .310, 35 HR, 110 RBI, 100 R and 25 SB. In other words, just redonkalous numbers. Just redonkalous…
  • Jabula, who I’ve repeatedly trashed for his dealings with The Villain, overtook the lead from said Villain last night, and is free to bite his thumb at me. Kudos on streaming effectively thus far, but somehow I doubt when all is said and done Nelson Cruz will be leading the majors in HR and Jorge Cantu will do the same in RBI, both of whom are doing just that for his team. Enjoy it while it lasts, and I’ll at least take solace in the fact that no true Yankee fan owns Kevin Youkilis.
  • Carlos Zambrano of Teamocil made the Mets look foolish yesterday, allowing only a two-run triple to Jose Reyes in six innings, striking out nine. While his ERA and WHIP are, how you say, ATROCIOUS, he does have 26 strikeouts in 19.1 innings, which is phenomenal. The 7.45 ERA and 1.86 WHIP aren’t worth it at all, but if he can string together a couple of fine starts like last night’s, he’ll be fine. Remember, he’s never had a year in which his ERA has been above 3.95, so he’s got that going for him. Among his foolish-looking victims was Mets call-up Ike Davis, who’s had a history of strikeout issues in the minors, as detailed here. Acquire at your own risk.
  • Finally, Jeff Mathis went to the DL with a broken wrist, paving the way for HR-exclusive Mike Napoli, who was a Loney Bone, and made his triumphant return about 5 minutes ago. I say HR-exclusive because all he does is hit home runs. He has a career pace of one home run every 16.8 at-bats, which is about a half-AB less than Hank Aaron. So yeah, he’s pretty good at socking some dingers. If you have a need for home runs and don’t own Victor Martinez, Joe Mauer or Brian McCann, I would recommend picking him up.

Please comment below guys, we need ego-strokes.

The Loney Bones

If anyone was wondering what “Brando Commando” was referring to in the first ever comment on this site, this is that terrible pun. We have a tradition in our league in naming our teams puns which include the name of someone on our team. My greatest pun ever also happened to come on my best team ever: Hock a Lugo, which won the championship in my first ever auction league, thanks to a ridiculous lineup including Albert Pujols AND Alex Rodriguez, Jorge Cantu and Julio Lugo in career years, not to mention Johan Santana and Mariano Rivera. Pretty much the best team ever.

This year is not that year. Though I have been atop the leaderboard for much of the year, the pun is far inferior, which is a bad omen. I was going to change it, but felt I needed to keep it for at least until I wrote this post. I will let you all know when and how I change it, I assure you.

There are a few extra wrinkles with this team. This is the sixth year of our auction keeper format. We have rules so people can’t keep the same players for $1 every year. If we could, I’d have Grady Sizemore, Cole Hamels and Curtis Granderson, all for a buck. The way we do it, which will be the way we do it in Collin and my league, is a three-year keeper limit. You can keep someone twice, owning them for three seasons. I’ll indicate below whether a player is kept, how many times he’s been kept, or how I got them this year. Here goes:

C – Miguel Olivo – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
1B – Billy Butler – $15
2B – Rickie Weeks – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
3B – Ryan Zimmerman – $10 (Kept once)
SS – Elvis Andrus – $1 (Kept once)
IF – Michael Cuddyer – $3
OF – Matt Holliday – $37
OF – Curtis Granderson – $28
OF – Andre Ethier – $13 (Kept once)
OF – Shane Victorino – $12
Util – Jason Heyward – $8 (My God….he’s everywhere!)
Bench – James Loney – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Asdrubal Cabrera – $7
Bench – Martin Prado – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
Bench – Chris Young – $1 (Acquired via free agency)

Don't be sad Matt, you're hitting behind Pujols now!

P – Tim Lincecum – $43
P – Tommy Hanson – $1 (Kept once)
P – Matt Garza – $1 (Kept twice)
P – Scott Baker – $1 (Kept twice)
P – Jair Jurrjens – $1 (Kept twice)
P – Phil Hughes – $6
P – Rafael Soriano – $12
P – Brian Wilson – $13
P – Edwin Jackson – $13
P – Randy Wolf – $2
Bench – Kevin Millwood – $1 (Acquired via free agency)
DL – Mike Gonzalez – $11
DL – Chris Young – $1 (Acquired via free agency)

Clearly, this team is built for short-term and long-term success. Rickie Weeks is (knock on wood) finally playing to his potential and I still have him for 1, Andrus is steadily improving, and that outfield looks pretty dominant to me. If the lanky white pitcher Chris Young can come back and pitch well (opponents are hitting only .221 against him in his career), then my team will only get better.

There are some repeats on this team. I have Baker, Hughes, Heyward and Granderson on Teamocil, and I have both Chris Youngs. You know what they say: repetition is the key, repetition is the key, repetition is the key, repetition is the key.